wonderful news!

no, K

wonderful news is you're not going to fire anybody

this is very nice for those two people. it's great for them. we're genuinely glad for them that this has happened.

but please don't mess with our heads and give us Wonderful News! and think we'll be
happy when the scope of wonderful is so very very limited.



From: K
Subject: Wonderful news!

Dear all of you,

I am delighted to announce that two members of the team have been
recognized for their extraordinary service to our workplace: [one] has
been selected for a Particular Award, and [another] has been
recognized with the other award. I¹d like to take a moment to
summarize their achievements so that we can all be reminded‹and appreciate
anew‹their contributions to our work and to the organization as a whole.

The Particular Award is presented to a staff member who has been
here a short time and has made an immediate and significant impact.
[one] fits this description perfectly. Having joined us just 2 years
ago, [one] has in short order transformed our approach to finance
and administration. [One] invented new systems of analysis and
reporting; and discovered and addressed significant budget challenges; and

improved the enrollment management protocol, thereby enhancing
revenue predictions. and

more and more and more;

a lot more.

and:

The Other Award is presented to a staff member who has
implemented innovative programs that have had a resoundingly positive
impact. We would would be hard-pressed to find a staff member more
innovative than [Another]. [Another's] beautifully conceived solutions
have transformed our ability to use technology effectively to
support more and more

and much much more.

I know you will join me in thanking them for all they have done for us
and in congratulating them for these well-deserved awards.

Yours,

K