traveling

for work

entails sometimes people asking questions.

traveling for work entails, bad espionage

traveling for work means never wanting to say you're sorry

is it

enough to do what we're good at doing, what gives us joy
what we struggle to accomplish on our own terms and in communion with others?

is it ever time to say, no. I won't. not on those terms?

who shoots who in whose foot, how?

at the end of the day what really does count?

how many times can I ask the question?

do what you always do, get what you've always gotten.

balance

http://www.cartoonbank.com/2011/on-the-bright-side-ever-since-the-layoff-and-my-divorce-its-been-much-easier-to-balance-work-a/invt/136788/


[on the bright side, ever since the layoff and my divorce, it's been much easier to balance work and family]

reminder

what counts:

kindness
people
being present
engagement

calling bullshit, speaking truth to power

what doesn't:
bullshit
dwelling on bullshit when nothing will change that particular meter

note to self: head down, chin up.

connection

my friend, stupidly canned last fall, sent this now plant late in the year. before Christmas some time.




It needs to be said, I need to say that this colleague did her job impeccably, looked after the people she supervised, supported them so that they could do their work.

For reasons that remain to be understood ever ever, she was unceremoniously shown the door.
shame on that person, shame on that bad boss.



At the time she sent this lovely thank you, it was a pot. a tray under, to catch water. some Spanish moss.
and now? today, March 25th: this second bloom is starting to finish itself.
weeks and months of growing slowly and then not
and
then, maybe, next fall. again.

connection. air, earth. light.

enraged

and shaking
and angry
and what the fuck, really?
and
go for a walk
DO some other work
have a good class
step away from the cause of that particular rage
I can. not. change. that. particular thing.
working hard hard hard to do the thing I can do.

breathing

shaking with rage

walking, breathing.

breathing.

day 366

day by day by day by day

not shown: a drink, a visit with a student who was there then, is here now.

work to do.

high road: trip tik? gps?

I can do this.

no?

I can get out of my own way, listen to students. try to do better.

I can wish and wish that people doing things wrong would cut it out. But it's unlikely that they will.

I can try hard and harder to do the other pieces, the work that seems necessary, as well as I can.

else. what is the point?

collaboration

spent some time reading hard-to-read things for a thing a colleague is putting together.

felt a little cranky, but this is a colleague who does good work, who brings people together, who is helpful and smart.

we met to discuss the thing this morning with three other people I'd never met before.

they're smart. it was interesting and compelling and made me remember the possibilities of the possibilities of the work we do.

someone lovely

passed this week.

His work continues to hold out meaning, and challenge and hope and anger, maybe, and love.

Our job seems to be to carry on doing our job as well.

This is the person who years ago described bliss to contain work he loved and people he loved.

Both are diminished without him in the world now.

power in a union

listen here

and sometimes

I just try to get out of my own way

acknowledge kindness where it is. when it is

compassion

is leadership about support? what does support look like?
if we all pull up our socks, keep our heads down, shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone, eyes on the prize.

does kindness get in the way of this?